Touch
by hotforteacher
Summary: Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato A sequel to the story "Spark" - please read it before reading this one! Season 3 missing scenes between Crusher and Picard.
1. Welcome Back

**This takes place right before the episode "Evolution".**

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Evolution:

Jean Luc nervously entered the turbolift. Taking a deep breath, he clinched his hands by his sides and gruffly said, "Deck 8." Trying hard to concentrate on the panel, he ignored the queasiness in his stomach and the pin-prick hole in his heart. She had returned to the ship about ten hours ago.

Ten hours…

For ten long hours he has been thinking of her – only her. Of course had had been thinking about her for the year she had been away, but she wasn't near him. Now she is on the ship…

_We should be afraid._

Jean Luc let out the breath he was hold through his teeth. It was a lot easier to believe those words during the past year. Now, with her so close, he began to doubt himself. Did he make the right choice? Should he have gone back and beg for her forgiveness? Should he beg for forgiveness now?

As the turbolift opened, Jean Luc stood rooted to his spot as his options rolled through his head. Should he? Shouldn't he? Was it right? Was it wrong? Can things be changed?

"Sir?"

Jean Luc focused his eyes on an ensign that was new to the ship. He cleared his throat and smiled, which turned out to be more of a grimace. Stepping out of the turbolift, he nodded to the unknown ensign and made his way down the corridor. Before he knew it, he was at her door with no solution as what to do. Unexpectedly, the door to her quarters slid open. Surprised, Jean Luc stepped back as he saw Wesley coming towards him.

Wesley was just as shocked to see the Captain, but he smiled and said, "Oh, hello there Captain." He tilted he head back and yelled over his shoulder, "Mom, Captain Picard is here." He looked back at the Captain and started to make his way out the door. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm already late for my physics class." Seeing Jean Luc nod, he leaned in and whispered, "She is very excited to be back, sir." Straitening himself out, Wesley smiled at the Captain and then left for his class.

When he saw that Wesley was out of sight, Jean Luc smiled to himself. He felt his heart soar. She was excited to be back… he was just as excited for her to be back into his life. He didn't care if she was back as a friend or as a doctor or as a lover; she was back.

"Jean Luc?"

The sound of her voice startled him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw her standing in front of him holding a PADD. He noticed that she had shorter hair. He loved her long hair. He loved to thread his fingers through her hair. He loved to move her hair from his favorite spot on her neck. He loved seeing her sleep with her hair curled around her like a halo. He missed her long hair. No matter though, all he saw in front of him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

And then a single thought hit him like a ton of rock – _I should have never pushed her away._

Closing his eyes, he tried to regain his emotions that clouded his heart. Right then and there, he knew that he had made the biggest and stupidest mistake of his life. How was he going to fix it? Was it even fixable? Then like the dark rainy clouds opening to allow warm sunshine through, he felt a comforting hand on his cheek. He didn't have to open his eyes to see who it was. He had memorized that touch a long time ago. When he regained his emotions, he slowly opened his eyes and saw concern clouding hers. Shaking his head, he stepped out of her embrace and walked into her quarters. There were some boxes around, but for the most part they were empty. Clearing his throat of the last vestiges of his emotional breakdown a few seconds prior, he said, "Welcome back, Doctor. I can see that you are making yourself at home. How was your journey?"

Beverly closed the door but stayed rooted to her spot. She felt at a loss right now. She had imagined that she would have had at least 24 hours to compose herself before seeing him. Now all she could do was to rely on those Vulcan breathing techniques she had learned from her stay at Starfleet Medical. At first when she saw him, he looked deep in thought but happy. However, after saying his name, he became distant as his thoughts and emotions overtook his physical body. It wasn't until she had touched that he became his old captain self again. Looking in towards her own heart, she realized that that one touch broke down that wall she had carefully constructed from the time she left Earth. She had missed touching him and his touch on her. She had missed him – all of him, not just his touch.

The air in her quarters became stale in the awkward silence.

Sensing the new discomfort encompassing the room, Jean Luc tugged down on his uniform and looked up towards the ceiling. "I read Admiral Chechney's glowing report on how well Starfleet Medical is doing and how you will be a loss to their team. He noted that if at any time you are in need of a change, that you should reconsider coming back to Starfleet Medical." Of course Rick Chechney wanted her back; he had heard the rumors that he was trying really hard to sweep her off her feet, including an invitation to be his date for the Admiral's Ball. He was nothing but an immature bachelor who wanted the prettiest woman at the time on his arm… or in his bed. Swallowing his jealousy, he looked back at Beverly and smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You made quite an impression, Doctor."

Beverly blushed. Rick tried everything in his power to get her in his bed; a couple of dinners, an invitation to the Admiral's Ball and even asking her to go to New Orleans for the weekend. As much as she tried to like him, after one kiss, she knew he was not for her. After her numerous rejections, he stopped calling. Trying to swallow down the guilt of kissing another man, Beverly murmured, "I didn't do anything different than any other Starfleet Medical officer would do. In fact, it felt like I complained more that I missed the Enterprise and exploring new worlds and, well of course, I missed Wesley." She was rambling and she knew it, but anything was better than the cold silence.

Jean Luc grasped his hands behind his back as an air of sadness crossed his eyes. Then, ever-so-quietly, he whispered, "Is that all you missed?"

With her emotional wall crumbling around her and no time to build it back up, she instinctively said, "No." Catching her slip, she slammed her eyes shut and started using her breathing techniques again. Rolling her shoulders back, she opened her eyes and with a false confident voice, she explained, "Half way through my tenure at Starfleet Medical, I became aware…" for a moment her words became caught in her throat. She swallowed her fear and continued, "… that my place as a doctor was not behind some desk shifting bureaucratic papers around. So I finished out my term with a research project to help and improve medical triage on all starships. It was approved the day I left to come back to the Enterprise." She walked over and handed him the PADD she was holding. "On it are the changes Sickbay will be making to make triage more efficient."

As he grabbed the PADD from her, his fingers accidently brushed her fingers. For a moment, he didn't move away, but rather rejoiced in her touch once more. In one second, he felt all his hope restored. He realized that the spark between them never truly went away; it just diminished while she was away. And now that she is back, he was going to stop at nothing to get her back and to right his stupid mistake. As he stepped closer, he raised his hand and cupped her cheek. As he felt those magnificent emotions take over his body, he knew it was time to tell her of his love.

The atmosphere in her quarters became heated as they each looked at each other letting the love and loss passed between them quietly.

Feeling his hand on her cheek, Beverly leaned into his embrace. Somewhere in the back on her mind, she knew that she couldn't allow herself to get this close to him. But at the moment, her heart could care less what her mind was telling her. He was so close to her… touching her… feeling her breath. Feeling those old, glorious emotions taking over her body, she knew it was the perfect time to tell him about her.

_Now was the time._ As that thought crossed both of their minds, they moved closer to each other. The PADD that they were both holding fell to the floor as their hands melted into one. Both knew, it was the perfect time to tell each other their deep secrets. At once, they both began to talk.

"I lo-"

"We ha-"

Both realizing their mistake, they laughed quietly. Giving each other enough time to regain themselves, Jean Luc spoke first. "What did you want to say?"

Wanting to give herself more encouragement, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a moment, she looked back at him and quietly murmured, "Jean Luc, when I was at Starfleet command… I was… I was p-"

"Riker to Captain Picard."

Jean Luc didn't respond at first. He looked over to Beverly wanting her – no, needing her to tell him what she had to say. When he saw her bow her head to her chest, he reluctantly let go of her hand and tapped his communicator. "What is it, Number One?"

Feeling the profound loss of losing their connection and missing her perfect opportunity to tell him, Beverly bent down to pick up the PADD. She heard Riker say, "Sir, Dr. Stubbs just arrived on board and is very… eager to meet with you."

Taking a step away from her, he responded, "Very well. Please escort Dr. Stubbs to the observation lounge. I will meet with him shortly. Picard out." Looking back at Beverly, he saw that she held out the PADD and smiled a sad smile. Right then and there, he knew he lost his perfect opportunity to tell her. Taking the PADD from her, he smiled as best as he could and said, "Welcome back, Doctor."

Noticing the use of her title, Beverly stiffly nodded and replied, "Thank you, Captain. I shall see you at the senior staff meeting."

Being dismissed from her quarters, Jean Luc nodded and made his way out. "See you then, Doctor."


	2. Vengence

**Hello! This missing scene takes place after the episode "The Survivors". Thank you KeRoth for reading over this and your advice! **

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The Survivors:

After Kevin disappeared from the room, Jean Luc's eyes, clouded with concern, went straight to Beverly's. "How is she?"

With her attention back on Deanna, Beverly walked over to her bed and took out her tricorder. "All signs appear normal." As she snapped her tricorder shut, she looked up at the Captain. "As I walked in to check on her, Kevin had stopped whatever music he was playing in her head. He told me that she would have figured out who he really was. So to block her mind, he played the same song over and over again in her head." Beverly looked down at the counselor and patted her shoulder. After a moment, she stood up and firmly said, "She's sleeping peacefully now."

Giving a curt nod, Jean Luc said, "Good. Keep me apprised of her condition, Doctor." He turned and walked out of Deanna's quarters.

Beverly stared after his retreating figure, shocked at his abrupt departure. Following after him, she called out, "Captain! I'm surprised that you let Kevin go after what he did. He should pay for his crimes, especially for what he did to Deanna."

Jean Luc abruptly stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned just as Beverly caught up to him. "Even if I wanted to, how could I stop an omnipotent being?"

Beverly bit the side of her cheek; she hadn't thought of that and she mentally berated herself. "I know that you couldn't stop him but he should still be held accountable for his crimes."

Clenching his jaw, Jean Luc looked at Beverly. She looked so determined and not willing to back down from this fight. However, when he looked closer, the only thought going through his mind was if she were to die – whether at the hands of another being or by old age. Within a second, his fight mode switched to flight as a deep sadness overtook the inside of his body. As much as his heart told him to let her in to his despair, his mind told him to walk away as fast as possible. "It is my belief Doctor that he will live with the pain and guilt of killing an entire race of species for the rest of his immortal life. If you would, excuse me." Turning around, he strode towards the turbolift without a glance back.

His response made Beverly hesitate for a moment before going after him. She knew that Jean Luc never took these truths lightly. If someone had committed a crime then they should be punished for it. It was one thing that they had both agreed on – at least to a certain extent. But for him to be so dismissive was not like him. Hoping that he had not walked into the turbolift just yet, she quickly raced to catch him.

When the doors opened, Jean Luc walked in the turbolift. "Bridge."

Just as the doors were closing, Beverly stepped in. "That doesn't excuse him murdering billions of beings, most of which weren't even responsible for the attack or for killing Rishon. You know just as well as I that he should be held responsible for his crimes. Why are you making excuses for him?"

Digging his feet into the ground, Jean Luc tried to ignore the grief that that was slowly catching up to him. After giving himself a second to control his emotions, he turned to Beverly and calmly said, "In a moment where he was vulnerable, a man acted on his emotions. He had just lost the love of his life to a brutal and unmatched fight. I imagine, if I were in his shoes and the love of my life," he looked over to Beverly, his eyes unwavering and showing every emotion surging through his heart and soul, "was killed at the hands of a cruel race I would want vengeance as well." He stopped for a moment, just to stare into her beautiful sapphire eyes. "I would stop at nothing until I got it. And then I would spend the rest of my days feeling guilty for exacting that revenge on, as you say, innocent bystanders."

With his heart in control, he lifted his hand and barely touched her cheek as he whispered, "At the same time, the loss of my loved one would make me not care about anyone or anything. That way of living, my dear Beverly, is worse than imprisonment or death."

Shocked, Beverly just stood there not knowing how to respond. Just for a brief moment, she surrendered herself to his warm touch. Backing away from him, she could still see the agony crossing his face. Shaking the pain from her own heart, she turned towards to the doors. In an instant she felt loneliness creep into her soul despite the man standing next to her. She desperately wanted to reach out to touch him, to comfort him… to love him. But was she willing to take the risk? She was once ready to take it before, but could she again? Knowing full well what was beyond those doors when they decided to open, she grasped her hands behind her back.

By the time the doors opened, Jean Luc turned to Beverly and stoically said, "Doctor." Walking out onto the bridge, he felt himself erase any and all emotion he had shared with her moments ago. Just the thought of losing her was painful to the point of torture. Two years ago when she joined the Enterprise, he vowed that he would protect her until his last dying breath. Sitting in his seat, he remembered the numerous times she was in danger during an away mission or even in the holodeck… Forcing his mind to think about something else, he thought back to her warm skin underneath his fingertips. For the second time in as many weeks, he felt his chest explode. When he touched her like that, it was so intimate that everything in the universe felt right and at peace. Even though their connection lasted a moment, it was all he needed.

After the turbolift doors closed on Jean Luc's retreating figure, Beverly took a slight step back and said, "Deck 8". Feeling the elevator move beneath her feet, she replayed his soft spoken words through her mind. She lightly touched her cheek where he had his hand just a moment ago. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her, his words of loss and heartbreak…

She felt a chill run up her spine.

_It was me, but has it always been that way?_ Not wanting to cross that emotional bridge just yet, she straightened herself as the doors opened.


	3. Blame

**Hello! Thank you for the comments and alerts! And a big thank you to KeRoth! **

**This missing scene takes place at the end of the episode, "The Bonding".**

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The Bonding:

**Wesley's POV**

As I walk into my quarters, an overwhelming sense of exhaustion hits me. Just as my body hit the sofa, I fall asleep.

In my dream, I am in a quiet place and am walking down an aisle where at the end of it is a casket. I can feel the weight of someone's hand on my shoulder, but my mind is too focused at the end of the aisle to see who it is. When we get to the casket I stop in my tracks. I see Dad… he has a big cut on his forehead and his eyes are closed. I try to turn away and run, but that hand keeps me in firmly place.

"I did the best that I could." His voice was deep and sorrowful.

I can recognize the voice. When I am finally able to look up, I see Captain Picard looking at my dad, tears rolling down his face. Just as I reach up to wipe away his tears, I hear someone far away call my name. I turn to look down the row, but I see no one there. As I turn back to the Captain, I see that he is closing the top of the casket. Reaching out to stop him, I hear my name again, but this time it is louder. Trying to push him away, I start to shake my head, begging him not to close it. I know that when it is closes, my dad will really be dead and there's nothing that I can do to save him.

I grab his arms to try to pull him away, but he is bigger than me. Doing everything in my power to stop him, I start to kick him in his legs. But the sound of someone calling my name becomes louder and louder. Overwhelmed by my curiosity about the strange voice, I stop my assault on the Captain. When I look back at my father's casket, I see Captain Picard closing it - sealing my dad in there, forever.

Then I feel someone grab my shoulder and pull me away.

I open my eyes and see Mom leaning over me. She looks incredibly worried. As I sit up and rub my eyes, I feel her sitting next to me. When I look at her, I notice that she is very stiff and is chewing the side of her mouth, as though she has something to say to me that is too difficult to put into words. I close my eyes again and sigh, "What do you want me to say, mom?"

She takes a deep breath and reaches out for my hand. Her touch has always been a source of comfort for me, especially after having those horrible dreams. Instantly, my heart rate slows and my anger dissipates.

"You can say whatever you want, Wesley. I know what you had to go through today and I just want to let you know that you can talk to me about it anytime." After putting her arm around me, she kisses my forehead and says, "I love you."

I look up and smile, "I love you too, mom."

She pats me on my shoulder and stands up from the couch. "What do you want for dinner tonight; meatloaf or spaghetti?"

It is such a simple question, but for some reason at that particular moment, I wanted to let her know how I really felt. "I hated Captain Picard for the longest time, you know."

She abruptly stops and after a few seconds, she leans against the table.

I can't see her face but her body goes rigid again. Letting my head fall to my chest, I whisper, "I blamed him for dad's death. I always wondered if the Captain was supposed to do something but didn't do it in time. When he brought his body back, I wished that it was his body that was in the coffin and not dads."

Silence permeates our quarters after my declaration, but at the same time I feel a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I notice that the atmosphere in our quarters becomes awkward and uncomfortable.

For a long time, I didn't want to tell Mom how I felt because of how close she is to the Captain. But at this moment, on this day, I have to tell her. She has always told me to be honest with her, even if the truth hurts. And now after telling her that, I feel like I can stop feeling guilty for blaming him and start looking up to him.

After a moment she whispers, "Do you still have those feelings?" Her voice sounds unsteady.

Not being able to see her face, I get up and walk to her. When I look at her, I see one tear fall down her cheek. I wipe it away. I hate it when she cries. I've only seen her cry a couple times and it always had to do with dad. But, something inside tells me that she's not crying over dad this time. "Of course I don't, mom. I look up to him. Please don't cry."

She closes her eyes and envelops me in a hug. I respond by hugging her back tightly. She whispers in my ear, "I had those same feelings and thoughts too. I felt so guilty, because Jean Luc did everything he could to save your dad. He once told me that he still feels guilty that he was able to live and not your dad." As I feel the weight of her chin on my shoulder, I hug her as close as I can. "And then I think about if he were to die. Not being able to tell him... I just… I just couldn't live with myself."

Now I'm confused and curious. "Tell him what?"

She lifts her head from my shoulder and takes a deep breath. After a moment, she shakes her head and says, "Not telling him that I don't blame him for your dad's death. I've always assumed that he knew it wasn't his fault, but I don't know for sure."

I don't think she is being entirely honest, but not being able to back up my gut feeling, I let it go. I know that in due time, she'll tell me. I pat her on her back and say, "You should tell him. He can handle it. I know he can."

She smiles at me. "You admire him, don't you?"

"I do. I look up to him as more than a starship captain. I know he wouldn't like that but-"

She shook her head, "Quite the opposite, Wesley. I think he would find that as an honor.

I smile and nod. I'm not totally convinced that he would find it an honor, but if my mom thinks it would then that's good enough for me. "Okay, mom. How about we have meatloaf tonight?"

She silently nods and we get busy setting the table and preparing dinner. After a few minutes she asks, "So, how is your warp coil project going?"

And like that, everything is back to normal; except that when I go to sleep tonight or any other night, I know I won't be having that horrible dream anymore.


	4. Comfort

**This chapter takes place right after the episode "The Price". Merry Christmas everyone! :)**

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**The Price:**

**Deanna's POV:**

"Devinoni has just left the Enterprise."

I feel Beverly's cool blue eyes on me as I hang my head.

To have a relationship with him while he was negotiating for the opposing side was not the smartest thing I could have done, but I was glad I had told the Captain about his telepathy. Though it cost me a relationship, I gained a new level of respect from Captain Picard.

After Devinoni left, I needed to talk to someone. Can you believe that? The ships counselor needing to talk to someone? But I have emotions and flaws just like any other species. So, I went to the one person who I knew would understand how I felt.

Beverly was sitting in a seat by the window in Ten Forward. Smiling as I walked up to her, she stood up and gave me a big hug. Despite her coolness to the people around her, she has the warmest heart. It's funny that she is reluctant to show it, but with her type of work and her history, I think she feels the need to keep her guard up.

However, she has been very secretive and elusive since she came back from her year at Starfleet Medical. Oh, don't get me wrong; she's very good at not letting her emotions or thoughts show on her face, but being an empath, I can feel that she is holding something back. And at certain times, she is ready to explode. And usually during those times, she is with the Captain.

I noticed them looking at each other once. It was like a game between them, except they weren't aware they were playing. She would look at him when he was concentrating on something else and vice versa.

The feelings between them are definitely more than that of just friends, but I don't know how far they have gone. I think back to that day in the shuttlebay when Beverly was leaving for Starfleet Medical. Something was definitely different with her. It wasn't her looks or her emotions; it was something on a deeper level. When she had left, everything I felt from the Captain for the following year was bereft of any true happiness. It was almost like he was punishing himself. But with what? And more importantly, why?

"How are you feeling?"

Her question brings me out of my thoughts. "Honestly, a little bit empty. I had known him for a short period of time, but the love I felt for him ran just as deep. I also know what his true intention were and that he would use any means necessary to get what he wanted, but the times we spent together felt different. It was as if he didn't have to pretend anymore – that he could be his true self. That is the part I miss."

I stop for a moment when the waiter brings our drinks to the table. After he leaves, I lean in and quietly ask, "Will this emptiness ever truly go away?" I already know the answer to my question but I want to hear her say it.

"No, not entirely. The pain will hurt a little less as the days turn into months and then years, but it will always be there, waiting for you to be alone in your own thoughts. Sometimes the pain is unbearable, but most days, you won't know it's there."

I notice her vision becomes blurry as she stares into her drink - her thoughts obviously a million miles away. She knew exactly how I would feel – as though she had lived it herself. She would make a wonderful counselor. "How do I make the pain bearable?"

She smiles, but it's a sad one. "It will take time, but you will think about other things and other people and the thought of him will start to move to the back of your mind. Eventually, you will go months, maybe even years, without thinking about him." She takes a sip of her drink as we sit in silence.

Her profound sadness engulfs me and at this moment I know it has everything to do with Captain Picard. Now, more than ever, I want to ask her about her relationship with him, but something holds me back. I don't want her to shut down, not when I feel she has more to say.

"Maybe, if you're lucky, you will find something to occupy your mind and you won't think about it so much." She looks up from her drink and smiles to where it touches her eyes. "But you already know that, don't you? You have gone through heartbreak and loss before, and not to mention, you're the ships counselor, so you know what happens next. Why are you asking me?"

"I needed to hear it from someone else. Kind of like needing a dose of my own medicine, but instead of medicine it was advice."

She nods her head as she takes another sip of her drink.

"But I was also a little curious about you and the Captain." Where did that come from? Just a moment ago I didn't want to delve in to that part of her life. Apparently, my subconscious has other plans.

She looks down at the table as the smile slides from her face. "The Captain and me? What are you curious about?"

For the second time in five seconds, I am taken by surprised. She is willing to talk about it, but how much is she willing to divulge? I lean back in my chair to get comfortable. "Well I know that there are strong feelings between the two of you. I have known ever since you joined us at Farpoint. When you left for Starfleet Medical, something had changed in you physically and emotionally. And when you came back, you walked in with a burden on your shoulders. It has something to do with him, doesn't it?"

She is concentrating so hard on her glass that if she had telekinesis she could make it fly across the room.

I place a comforting hand on hers. "You know Beverly, this goes both ways. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here for you as well."

I look at her stone facade and wish with all my might that I got through to her. Then like a bubble, I feel hope rising through her body. She opens her mouth like she is going to say something, but then an anxious feeling overtakes that hope and squashes it down further into her soul. She looks at me with utter sadness in her eyes, "I want to tell you Deanna, but I can't. I'm sorry." She takes away her hand and grabs her glass to drink from. Whatever piece I chiseled away from the stone is being rebuilt ten times stronger than the previous.

I reach over and replace my other hand on hers and squeeze tightly. "Don't be sorry. Whatever it is, it will find its own way out. And when it does, I hope that you don't come to me, but that you go to him."

We finish our drinks in silence.


	5. Where I Belong

**Hi there! I know it has been so long since I had last updated and I apologize about that.**

**This scene is one of my favorite so far in this series. It takes place after the episode "Higher Ground".**

**Thanks again to KeRoth for reading over it!**

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**Higher Ground**

_She could have died. But she didn't. But she could have…_

While leaning back in his Captain's chair, Jean Luc crossed his legs. The internal battle he held in his mind was at odds as to what had happened down on Rutia. When they had returned back to the Enterprise, he was ecstatic to have her back alive and well. So much so that you couldn't slap the smile off of his face. But now that he has had a couple of moments to think about it, that same familiar drowning feeling started to bubble up within him - it was the same feeling he had felt after the Rana incident. He needed to touch her to make sure that she was truly alive. It was silly to him that he needed something so trivial, but it was there and it wasn't going to go away until his need was met. But, he countered in his mind, it was highly inappropriate. He couldn't go around groping her every time their lives were in danger.

_But the thought of losing her… _

He felt the air around him thinning at that last thought. Forcing himself to take a breath, Jean Luc pushed his body further into his seat. Sensing someone's eyes on him, he used his peripheral vision to see that it was Counselor Troi. Not wanting to give her concern, he kept his eyes forward.

After a moment, the counselor leaned towards him and quietly said, "Captain-"

Jean Luc abruptly stood up and announced, "Number One, I'll be in my ready room." He looked to Beverly and steadily said, "Doctor." Turning quickly on his heels, he quickly walked towards his ready room.

After entering the room, he stood silently in front of his desk, his back to the door.

Beverly walked into his ready room and stood close to the couch. She knew that he was going to reprimand her for not following his orders, but she was ready with her own argument. As a doctor – sworn to help anybody in need – she knew it was the right thing to stay there and help the wounded. She was not supposed to pick political sides. Her side was always with the patient – always!

_And damn anybody who gets in my way! Even if it is Jean Luc Picard! _

She straightened herself up to her full height. Resolved, she wasn't going to give in without a fight. Wanting to get their inevitable argument over, she called out, "Captain?"

Hearing her voice, Jean-Luc turned around. Seeing Beverly standing there in all her glory, his anger and fear disappeared.

All it took was three steps to stand in front of her and two seconds to enfold her into his arms. She had almost died…

_Almost, but she didn't._

He squeezed her closer, trying to diffuse the emotional turmoil his heart was going through. After a moment, he felt her arms encircle his waist. With her encouragement, he loosened his grip and slid his hand through her hair. He missed her long hair. When they were together, he could spend all day running his hands through her red locks.

"Beverly, please don't do that again." His voice was soft, betraying his vulnerability. As if to mirror his statement, he brought her closer to his body. He needed her warmth, her strength, her love as close to him as possible; he just needed her.

Feeling all of the anger she had a moment before dissipate, Beverly gave in to his embrace. Despite her certainty that she had been right of her sense of honor and duty, she was frightened; frightened of death, frightened of not seeing Wesley again, frightened of not telling Jean Luc about Ava. His grasp helped cement the fact that she was alive and well on the Enterprise – her home. She had to tell him. She promised herself that if she made it out alive, she would tell him. Down on the planet, she started to tell him; for fear that they wouldn't make it out alive. But then the power went out … and everything had happened so quickly.

Resolved in what she had to do, she leaned out of his warm embrace and smiled contently as she felt his hand move from her neck to her cheek. She always loved his touch. It was so gentle, yet the power that flowed between their connection made her weak in the knees.

Keeping their connection firm, Jean Luc looked into Beverly's blue eyes and took a steady breathe. He knew from that moment that all he need in his life was her touch. It was his confirmation that she was alive. Leaning in once more, he rested his forehead on hers. "I know this was the last thing you were expecting, but I just needed a moment. I needed to see you and touch you and feel you." After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and quietly whispered, "I need you."

She needed him as well and she knew from that moment that she would always need him. Feeling her own emotions from the past couple of days overtake her system, she nodded, not trusting herself to be able to speak.

Jean Luc touched her cheek and ever-so-lightly kissed her lips. When she didn't push him away, he deepened their kiss and brought her body closer to his. He felt her hands sliding around his neck. Knowing that she wanted this just as much as he needed it made his heart soar to new heights. And come hell or high water, he was not walking away from it this time. Ever since the night he left her quarters with his tail between his legs, he has felt emptiness in his heart… up until now though. Now, he felt right at home.

_This is where I belong. _

Feeling blissfully content herself for the first time since returning back to the Enterprise, Beverly allowed her heart to take over her body. Ever since returning, she longed to be wrapped in his arms and she never wanted to leave. But somewhere in the back of her mind, a little voice told her that this wasn't the time or the place to be doing this. In fact it was downright foolish. For a brief second, she thought about ignoring that little voice, but then she started to feel the panic rise through her throat. Feeling her heart break, she leaned away from his embrace and reluctantly pushed him away. Looking down at her hands on his chest, she whispered, "Jean Luc, we mustn't. This was foolish to begin with."

Placing his hands on her elbows, he took a step forward, "I know this isn't the right place or the right time, but any more time away from you, I would have lost my mind." Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers. "I needed that moment to internalize that you are still here and safe."

Beverly looked into his eyes, a smirk playing on her lips, "That took a little longer than a moment."

Taking her lead once again, he captured her cheeks and said, "I needed to be very thorough."

At the last millisecond, Beverly backed out of his embrace. "Jean Luc, please." Putting some distance between them, she walked closer to his desk.

Clasping his hands behind his back, Jean Luc looked over to Beverly and quietly said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

Biting the side of her lip, she began to fidget with her hands. "You didn't… It's just we can't… I mean we shouldn't. This is your Ready Room and it's very inappropriate."

For a moment the room was quiet. Jean Luc couldn't argue logic with her, she was correct. Letting his hormones and fears get the better of him, his logic took a seat in the back of his mind. Chastising himself, he shook his head and said, "You're right, Beverly. I apologize profusely for my conduct."

Smiling, Beverly shook her head, "It's okay, Jean Luc. But if you excuse me, I have to get back to Sickbay." She started to make her way towards the door, but was stopped by Jean Luc placing his hand on her arm.

"Have dinner with me tonight." It wasn't a question, but more of a demand. There were many things that he wanted to tell her.

Not wanting to look at him, she turned her head to the side. "Jean Luc, I don't think that would be a good idea either."

"Why not?" His words came out harsh, but once again, he felt his control over his feelings slipping. When she didn't answer him, he took a deep breath and softly said, "I think I deserve to know."

Shaking her head, she laughed to herself, "There are so many things that you don't know that you should."

Remembering what she had said before the lights went out on Rutia, he slid his hand down to hers. "Tell me."

Feeling her fear catch in her throat, she closed her eyes and shook her head. A moment ago, she had all the confidence in the universe to tell him about Ava, but after sharing that searing kiss and then pushing him away, she needed to leave his ready room quickly. "It's nothing," she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Not believing her for one moment, he gently squeezed her hand and said, "That's not true. Please tell me."

Pulling her hand away from him, she took a step back. "I can't. Not right now." She let her head fall to her chest in regret. "I'm sorry." She turned towards the door.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he placed a hand on her shoulder stopping her from leaving. "Beverly, whatever it was, was obviously very important to you, otherwise why mention it before you believe you are about to die?" He saw the tiniest hint of guilt pass through her beautiful blue eyes and he instantly felt his heart hit rock bottom. Instantly thinking the worst, he thought back to the gossip he heard from her time at Starfleet Medical. Within a blink of an eye, his worry turned into jealousy – hard hitting and gut wrenching jealousy. "Does this have anything to do with Rick Chechney?"

Confusion pushing her eyebrows together, she asked, "Rick Chechney? What about him?"

Letting his hand fall from her shoulder to his side, Jean Luc narrowed his eyes, "You two spent a lot of time together while you were at Starfleet Medical." Crossing his arms over his chest, he tried to tame the jealousy monster that threatened to explode from his chest. "Were you ever involved with him?"

She took a step towards him and placed her hand on his arm. It was funny to see the roles reversing within a matter of seconds. "Jean Luc, he has nothing to do with this."

"That's not how it looks from my point of view."

Shaking her head from his clipped comment, she smiled the best that she could and firmly said, "Please trust me on this. There will be a time when I will come to you and tell you everything, but it can't be right now." Forcing herself to drain every ounce of emotion that soared through her just moments ago, she walked out of his ready room and straight to the turbolift.

Once the door closed, he started to pace back and forth like a caged animal. He had thought that the rumors about her were untrue, but the way she was acting a moment ago, made him think twice about it. _Rick Chechney is very charming and very demanding. But so is Beverly. She wouldn't have fallen for his bachelor tricks… Would she? I had walked away from her, away from our relationship because I was scared. Did she need a shoulder to lean on? Maybe she was vulnerable. Maybe Rick took advantage of her vulnerability._

Jean Luc stopped his pacing. _Maybe she wanted to be with him. Maybe she was in love with him._ Without any warning he slammed his fist against his desk. _To hell with her_.

Crossing his arms across his heaving chest, he looked out of his viewport.

_Why? Why would she return the kiss if she was in love with him?_ After a moment, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he examined his last thought._ How could I have been so stupid! If she was truly in love with him, then she wouldn't return his kiss. Then what was it that she was hiding?_

Feeling his confusion turn into anger, he dropped his clenching hands to his sides. _Why can't she be honest with me_?

After a few moments of staring at the stars lost in his own thought, he heard the indicator chime. Not turning to see who it was, he quietly said, "Come in."

Deanna walked into the ready room. Noticing the captain lost in thought, she went up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Sir, are you alright?"

Straightening himself, he shrugged off her comforting hand. "I'm fine, Counselor." Not wanting to give her anymore reason to question him, he turned and walked to the replicator. "Tea, Earl Grey, hot."

Giving him space to gather his emotions and time to get his tea, she walked around his desk and sat in one of the chairs.

Realizing that she was not going to leave just yet, Jean Luc walked to his chair and sat down, calmly sipping his tea.

After several moments in silence, Deanna was first to talk, "Sir, I felt a powerful emotion coming from you. It came on quick without any provoca-"

Wanting to take the focus off of himself, he quickly asked, "Counselor, do you know what has been bothering Doctor Crusher lately?" He took a sip from his tea and looked back at the counselor.

Noting the change in topic, Deanna was stunned to say the least. Very rarely did the Captain want to talk about the doctor in a more personal context. Shaking her head, she said, "I know that something is troubling her. When I asked her about it, she didn't want to talk about it. In her own due time, she will, but for now she is content with keeping it to herself." She placed her hands in her lap. "Whatever it is, it's not impairing her from her work or duty. Why do you ask?"

He brushed her question away, the same as Beverly did to him only a few minutes prior. "No reason, I was just concerned. Thank you counselor for your insight." He turned his chair towards his computer terminal and opened a message sent by Admiral Tommal.

Knowing when she had been dismissed, Deanna stood up and made her way to the door. Before going back out on the bridge, she turned and said, "Sir, what she is hiding has something to do with you. In her own time, she will go to you, not me."

She left him to the stark quietness of his ready room, hoping beyond hope that she was right.

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**Please review!**


	6. Hypochondriac Q

**Hello! Thank you so much for the comments and alerts! I'm glad a lot of you are liking it! :) **

**This takes place during and after Deja Q. Q is a very interesting and complex character. I hope I did his character justice.**

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**Deja Q:**

_Where the hell is this gods forsaken place? _Stopping in the middle of the corridor, Q impatiently began to tap his foot as he thought about what to do next. Ignoring the background chatter and laughter, he looked up and asked, "Computer, this is the last time I'm going to ask you, where is sickbay?"

"You are at Sickbay. Are you in need of immed-"

"NO! Don't you remember the last hundred times I've told you? I do not need immediate medical attention. What an impertinent computer system. You know they should upgrade you to the Impalia System. At least then I wouldn't have to repeat myself over and over again." He shrugged his shoulders and with a superior lift of his chin, he added "I will have to talk to Jean Luc about this. Now go away."

Learning his lesson from before, Q took a small step forward. After hearing the doors swoosh open, he took a few more steps into the room. "Excuse me! I am in need of immediate medical attention! Doctor Crusher I know you are in - OW!" He took a clumsy step back from the set of drawers he had just ran into. "Who the hell puts something as big as that in the middle of a walk way. That is dangerous. What kind of Sickbay is this? You know you should take better care of this place. If I wasn't in need of medical attention, I would go straight to Jean Luc and-"

"Q! Those are the defibulator panels. They are required by Starfleet to be there." Beverly looked back down at Ensign Ogowee and patted her on her shoulder. When the ensign walked around Q, Beverly sighed, "And just a little word of advice, if you don't want to run into the defibulator cart again, you should uncover your eyes."

"Ha. Ha. You are so funny, Red." His voice dripped with sarcasm as he began limping towards where he thought the doctor was. "It just so happens that my head hurts and when I put my hands over my eyes if feels slightly better. I think I might be experiencing what you dreary homo sapiens call a headache." He grunted loudly when he walked into a wall.

Taking pity on him, Beverly walked over to Q, took him by the elbow and brought him to one of the biobeds. "You know, if I didn't know better, I would list you as a hypochondriac." She took out her tricorder and started scanning his head.

"Humph! Well, if you were experiencing mortality and pain for the first time, then you would know how I feel." With his eyes still covered, he cocked his head to the side.

Trying to suppress her laughter, Beverly put her tricorder away in the pocket of her jacket.

Hearing her sniggering, he took his hands off of his face but kept his eyes closed. Sighing impatiently, he continued on, "However, being the less sophisticated human that you are you don't even know what I'm going through."

Stifling another round of giggles, Beverly quickly said, "Q, what you are **suffering** from is a normal, everyday tension headache." She walked over to the medicine and filled a hypospray with pain reliever. When she pressed it into his neck, she cheerfully said, "You can open your eyes now." When he did, she looked at him brightly with a smile playing on her lips. "Good morning Sunshine! Feel better or is your leg going to cramp up from all the walking you do between here and engineering?"

He crossed his arms and gave her a sneering look. "You know Red, you could use a little work with your bedside manner."

Beverly rolled her eyes as she put the hypospray away. "And you know what you need more than a pain reliever - a dose of your own medicine. When you were part of the continuum, you showed no compassion for humanity or respect for the people who tried to help you out. Well, what you give is what you receive. Take the time now to learn how to give back to the people you ridiculed and to move on with your mortal life. You will find that you will care less for the hurt and anger and care more for the joyful experiences that life has to offer."

Q ever-so-slightly smirked as he kept his arms crossed tightly to his chest. "Like the joyful experience you had when you were on Earth?" His voice was quiet yet leering and he knew he had her trapped.

With all the color draining from her face, Beverly shook her head and tried to rid her mind of his annoying comment. "I don't know what you're talking about Q and if you would excuse me, there is work that I have to do." She made a hasty retreat back to her office without a glance back.

He jumped off the bed and skipped after her. "I know your secret, Red. And I never know when it could just slip out. Who knows who might be in the room with me; maybe Riker or Data or even the Captain himself." He walked to her desk and sat on the edge. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Beverly with such pity. "Here he was thinking that you were off gallivanting with… what's his name?" He looked up towards the ceiling and snapped his fingers. After a few seconds, he gave a decisive snap and looked back at Beverly with a glint in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, "Oh that's right, Rick Chechney. He is so handsome and he is everything Jean Luc Picard detests. Such a shame that Jean Luc in the dark; but wouldn't he just be delighted to know how you **really** spent your time at Starfleet Medical." He gasped as his eyes widened. "Maybe I should go tell him right now!" He hopped off of her desk and made his way to the door.

Beverly slammed her eyes shut as the venom of hatred coursed through her body. "Q! Wait." Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath and plastered on a fake smile. "You are more than welcome into my sickbay anytime." Holding her hands in her laps, she looked down to collect her thoughts and then looked back up. "Please, Q, don't tell him." Her voice was soft – almost defeated.

Stopping just before the door, Q slowly turned around with a slimy smile played across his lips. "Welllll… since you said please." Then he dropped his smile and became serious once more, "But I warn you Red, it might just slip out one night when you least expect it."

She was so close to responding with a quick quip from her vast storage of sarcastic comments but she held her tongue. She nodded as she relaxed her body into her chair, "Thank you, Q."

He expected her to fight with him or to make a sarcastic comment and when she didn't he shrugged his shoulders and walked out of Sickbay without another word.

When Q left, Beverly let out a stream of curse words that didn't stop for a breath. Now she had a big decision to make, should she wait to see if Q is good on his threat or should she tell Jean Luc now. After a few moments of pensive thoughts, she decided to wait a few days and then after that tell Jean Luc.

* * *

**One day later:**

With a click of his fingers, Q popped into Beverly Crusher's office, effectively scaring her from her place behind her desk. He joyfully smiled and opened his arms to her as if she would come running happily into them.

Scowling at him as she picked up the data PADD's that she dropped on the ground, she dully said, "I see they let you back in."

Putting his arms back to his sides, Q gracefully strolled over to the chair and sat down. Easing his feet on her desk and buffing his nails with his captain's uniform, he shrugged his shoulders like his acceptance back into the Continuum were part of his plans all along. "Yes, they did but you don't seem overly **joyous** about these new turn of events." He smirked when he emphasized the word 'joyous'.

Ignoring his last comment, she picked up the rest of PADDs from the floor and straightened them on her desk. "Well congratulations, Q. Did you tell the rest of the crew?"

"I did and I even gave them a Cuban cigar." Inspecting one of his nails, he offhandedly said, "Funny, something I saw that was missing during your stay at Starfleet medical."

His smile was maniacal and it drove her crazy, but yet she stayed quiet.

After a mere moment of silence, he kicked of his feet and leaned closer to her desk, "I will keep your precious secret… for now. But if you don't work on your bedside manner then it will be a snap of my finger to let him know. And he will know, Doctor, as he should have in the first place." Seeing Beverly nodded silently, he uncharacteristically took pity on her. "But don't look so gloomy Doctor. I have a gift for you as well." He snapped his fingers and in an instant he was gone while a picture floated down from the ceiling.

Beverly grabbed it and after a few moments of looking at it, she smiled and held it close to her heart.

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**Please review! :)**


	7. Déjà vu

**Hello! This one has taken a little longer than I was planning. But it's finished and I'm happy with the result. This takes place during and after the episode "Yesterday's Enterprise". I did take some liberties here with the first part, especially since this episode was in a different timeline. The second part is from their original timeline.**

**Writing these little scenes, I love how things are getting so complicated between them. I know things might seem frustrating but their lives and their relationship with each other is very complex. But things will resolves themselves in these stories. Which is better than what I can say that was on the show **cough, cough... Attached... cough, cough** **

_**Italics = character's thoughts**_

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**Yesterday's Enterprise:**

"When will the Enterprise-C be up and running?" Beverly ran her hand down his bare chest. Trembling against the mix of cool air from the room and the heat from his body, she nestled herself closer to him and covered them with a long forgotten sheet. As she looked around, she was happy that they were able to finally put a bed in here. Before they took up residence in here for their 'afternoon rendezvous', it used to be a forgotten storage room.

Deep in thought, Jean Luc stared at the ceiling as he quietly replied, "Hmm… we hope to have it functional within a few hours." Feeling her move closer to him, he glanced at her taking in every part of her beautiful features.

Noticing that his mind was somewhere else, Beverly lightly kissed his on the corner of his mouth and then gave him a cajoling smile. "What is on your mind, Jean Luc?" Being patient, she knew he would discuss with her what was troubling him. It had always been this way between them since they first knew each other – first as friends and then as lovers. When she first knew him, he had a quiet, demanding presence, but after getting to know him, she saw an endearing vulnerability that kept him practical and kind. However, she didn't know how much anxiety he bore with his command until they became lovers. On the lucky nights that they were able to spend together in his quarters, he would spend half the night tossing and turning and the other half in a shallow sleep.

"I had a peculiar conversation with Guinian." Lightly tracing his fingers over her arm, he let his mind wonder back to their discussion.

"The woman from the mess hall? What did she say?" She raised her body so that her head was resting on her hand, letting the sheet fall to her bare waist.

Lifting himself onto his elbow, he made sure that their contact was never broken. "She told me that we weren't supposed to be here. That the Enterprise – C should go back through the wormhole. She said that this, the Enterprise-D, didn't feel right; that we were a ship of exploration and discovery, not for war." Letting the words sink in, he glanced at the chronometer. Seeing that their time was very limited, he shook his head and kissed her shoulder. Being tucked away in a little forgotten room between the bridge and Sickbay had an advantage of being close to where they needed to be when it was time to go back to the real world. For both of them, it was so easy to lose themselves within their little hideaway. If he had an ultimate choice, he would choose to stay in this room with her forever. "She has no evidence to support her claim, but her people were known to be very wise before her planet was destroyed. I impeccably trust her." He continued to plant kisses across her incredibly soft skin while he repeated the words of the wise woman over in his mind, hoping to find a solution to this dilemma within her touch. Briefly stopping for a moment, he knew what was going to happen next when he felt her body tense.

Placing a hand on his chest, Beverly gently pushed him back. "Jean Luc, do you believe that the crew from the other Enterprise should be sent back? It's sure to send them to a death sentence; especially since we need them here to help us fight the Klingons."

_The Klingons…_

He rolled onto his back and quietly sighed to himself. He abhorred talking about the Klingons with Beverly while they were in bed together. When it came down to it, every private moment spent with her was special and the last thing he wanted to do was to spend it like this.

_But, in our time of war,_ _everything always goes back to the Klingons._

Chewing the side of his mouth, he debated on telling her the truth. He knew confiding in her was an act of treason, but he didn't like hiding anything from her. Staring at the ceiling, he quietly whispered, "Starfleet predicts that we will have to unconditionally surrender within six months." Sitting up and leaning against the headboard, he looked down mentally berating himself. "We are fighting a losing war, Beverly. If I send the Enterprise – C back to its time period, then maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that this whole war would never exist. To me, that's better than nothing." Clasping his hands in his lap, he closed his eyes and shook his head - the last thing he wanted to do was to frighten her. Just the mere thought of what the Klingons could do to them if they surrendered terrified him more than he would ever let on.

Sitting up and leaning against the headboard herself, Beverly was quiet for a moment. She hated the thought of patching people up just for the sake of sending them back to battle. Although it happened all the time, she tried with all of her might to not let it happen and sometimes that meant stepping on Jean Luc's toes. Most the time they would fight and argue over the subject, but in the end the orders would come in from the top to send her patients back to the frontlines instantly guaranteeing their deaths. "But Jean Luc, they will die." She knew it was a weak argument, but it had to be said.

Hearing her soft voice, he covered her free hand with his own. He tried not to act surprised – or hurt- when she flinched at his touch. "I understand your concern, but they were going to die there anyways. At least we can send their ship back functional to where they can have a fighting chance." He sighed once more as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can at least bring it up to them. And if any of them chooses to stay then they can. But I don't want to be held responsible for changing the course of history."

It was either surrender to the Klingons or send back an entire ship and its crew to an already lost battle. Beverly looked down at her lap; she tried to not get depressed by the weight of this knowledge. Fighting back the tears that threatened, she felt as if there was no light at the end of this very long and treacherous tunnel. "What happens if they don't want to go back?" Feeling a tear falling down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away.

Turning and placing his hand on her cheek, Jean Luc lightly caressed the corner of her mouth. "They will go back. This is not their time period and they will not cower away from a fight. They are an honorable crew."

Shaking her head, her shoulders deflated in defeat. Wanting to lose herself in his touch, she slid her arms around his waist and rested her head within the crook of his neck. "I hate this."

Slipping his arms around her shoulders, Jean Luc kissed her forehead. "I know you do and I'm sorry that you know about it. If I could, I would take you away from all of this. I would bring you to a place where there is no war, or Klingons, or death." For a brief moment, he thought of a nice place to take her - somewhere where no one from Starfleet could communicate with them. "Do you remember that planet we went to recalibrate our engines?" He saw her quietly nod her head. "Before we were called away, I saw that their twin planet had this quiet, little beach town tucked away in a remote part. After this mission, we can go away for a couple of days."

It was one of the rare times where his ideas were impractical – making him sound like an eager, young cadet - and she loved him for it. "That sounds like a wonderful plan, Jean Luc." She knew going into this clandestine relationship with him that both were going to come to the table with baggage – the war, both married to other people, their duties and responsibilities – but now she knew they were meant to be together. Feeling her love for him fill her heart, she began to kiss him right below his ear.

Wanting nothing more than to spend the next twenty minutes in Heaven, Jean Luc wrapped his arms around her body and slid them down the bed. He kissed her with such fire and velocity that it left him breathless and yet wanting more. Poised between her legs and gasping for air, Jean Luc captured her cheeks and quietly said, "I can't go on any further without telling you that I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love you. I have been in love with you since the first moment I saw you. You are the light to my soul during the darkest of days. I love you and I will only love you until the end of time. You…," he paused to kiss her lightly on her lips, "… are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Resting her forehead against his, Beverly then gave him a piercing gaze and quietly whispered, "You are wrong. It is you who are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. I always have and I always will." Kissing his forehead, she took a deep breath and whispered, "Jean Luc, we are going to be a family."

* * *

Back in their real timeline…

Stepping out of the turbolift, Beverly started to make her way towards the Bridge. It was the longer route, but with the corridors usually sparse and quiet, she liked to use the time to think. Looking down at her PADD, she reread the information on it before handing it to the captain.

_Damn!_

Suddenly stopping in the middle of the corridor, she realized that she forgot to add relevant information to the PADD. Looking around, she used her non-emergency medical override and ducked into one of the unused rooms hoping it had an available computer station she could use.

Leaving the door open, she quickly said, "Computer, lights at 50 percent." Finding a computer terminal at the desk, she hastily walked over to it and turned it on. After finding the appropriate files that were needed and downloading them to the PADD, she looked up and surveyed the room.

It was an ordinary office that was being used as a storage area for different types of furniture. Glancing back down at the computer, she saw that it needed more time to download. Instead of waiting at the desk, she walked around and started to explore. While perusing through a broken desk, she was almost knocked down by an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Taking a closer look at the actual room instead of the furniture, she had a strong feeling that she had been in here many times before; but, for the life of her, she could not connect the memories. It was like she had seen it in a dream, but it was more real than that.

_Beep, Beep._

Turning around, she knew that the computer was finished downloading; but curious as to these peculiar memories, she walked up to a connecting door. Opening it and expecting to find a bathroom, she was surprised to find a bed. Being on a starship, it was pointless to put a bed alongside an office when you could just simply walk to your quarters. Her surprise however turned into captivation as she entered deeper into the room.

The bed was unmade and looked like someone had slept in it very recently. Bending down, she touched the sheets. Instantly, a memory came bubbling to the surface of her mind.

_I am in this bed… with a man, but I can't see his face. "After this mission, we can go away for a couple of days." _

Then as quickly as it came, it went away. Trying to hold on to it, she closed her eyes and replayed it in her mind.

_I was in this bed and we had just made love. _Beverly quickly opened her eyes. _The only man I have ever been intimate with on this ship was Jean Luc. But we never made love in here; it was either in his quarters or mine. And he has never asked me to go away with him. _She shook her head and took a deep breath. _This isn't right. No of this ever happened…_

_But the memory is so strong…_

Closing her eyes again, she replayed it again, but this time putting Jean Luc's face to the man. _He has his arms around me and we are both naked. He kisses my forehead and then mentions something about Klingons and war. It's all very muffled and I can only catch a few coherent words. And then everything becomes so clear. "Before we were called away, I saw that their twin planet had this quiet, little beach town tucked away in a remote part. After this mission, we can go away for a couple of days." And then it's gone. _Beverly let out an exasperated breath. _There is definitely more to this memory… but why can't I hold onto it._

"Beverly?"

Jumping out of her skin and falling ungracefully to the floor, she turned and squinted at the person standing at the entrance to the bedroom. Standing up, she angrily brushed herself off. "Jean Luc, you scared the hell out of me. Warn a girl next time before you come sneaking up on her."

Tilting his head to the side, he looked rightfully apologetic, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

She shook her head and ruefully said, "It's okay, just don't do it again." Looking back at the bed, she tried once again to piece her memory together, but it was getting harder for her to remember.

"What are you doing in here?" His voice drifted softly within the room.

Smirking, she playfully replied, "I should ask you the same thing."

"I was passing by, when I saw the door open. When I looked inside, I had the most curious feeling of déjà vu, like I had walked the path from the bridge to here many times before. I didn't know you were in here until I walked in."

When she didn't acknowledge him, he followed her line of sight. Walking up to her, his sense of déjà vu grew stronger. He had the strangest feeling that he had been in here numerous times – on the bed – but he knew this was the first time he has ever stepped into this room. Then as if his mind wanted to contradict him, a memory soared to the surface and it nearly knocked him to his knees. _I am making love in here. But the only woman I have ever been intimate with on this ship was Beverly. We never made love in here; it was either in her quarters or mine. But then I look down at the woman I am making love to and I thread my fingers through her red hair. My God – it is Beverly, but I am certain we were never intimate in this room._ Clearing his throat, Jean Luc looked away from the bed and stuttered, "Beverly, did we… umm… Did we use this room… at all…?"

Tearing her eyes away from the bed as well, she slowly shook her head and quietly replied, "No we didn't. But… you feel it too - like we have been here before… as lovers."

Her voice was so soft that he had to take a step towards her to hear her. "I remember all the times we have made love, and I am certain it was never in here. But, yet, there are many memories that are contradicting me - almost like we have lived another life."

Like a magnet, both turn back to look at the bed; staring at it for what seemed like for hours – almost like they were in a trance of trying to piece together a faraway memory.

Suddenly, Jean Luc turned to Beverly and asked, "Is this how it is meant to be?"

Sitting down on the bed, she threw her head into her hands. "I don't know Jean Luc, but I don't think this is déjà vu, it's much stronger than that."

Sitting down beside her, he placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted her head. "It is just as strong as all the other memories I can remember. I don't know how we gained these memories, but they are here and I would be a fool to deny them." Looking deep into her sea of blue, he could swear that he could see right through to her soul.

Placing her hand gently on his chest, she looked into his steely eyes. She was so close to him that she could feel his warm breath on her cheek.

_"I love you."_

Like an electric shock, both parted from each other.

Jean Luc was the first to speak, "Did you hear that?"

Standing up, Beverly held both of her hands against her chest. After a moment, she closed her eyes and shook her head. "No… it was… it was the computer in the other room." Stalking out of the bedroom, she grabbed the PADD from the desk and handed it to Jean Luc. "This is the final report on the affects we suffered from the dimensional shift on Rutia IV. I will also be turning this into Starfleet Command."

Taking the PADD from her, he placed it on the desk and grabbed her hands. He felt her shaking with fright. "Beverly, please, don't fight it. You heard it, didn't you?"

Creating a thin line with her lips, she shook her head. "I heard the computer and if you will excuse me, I have to get back to Sickbay." Slipping her hand out of his, she turned to make her way out of the room.

Before she got to the door, Jean Luc stated, "Try as hard as you want, Beverly, there was a time where we loved each other and I'll be damned to give that up."

Giving him no acknowledgement, she turned the corner and made a beeline towards the turbolift.

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